Shujin Unblogged

Return to innocence - Enya

Love, devotion, feeling, emotion
Don’t be afraid to be weak
Don’t be proud to be strong

Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to your self
The return to innocence

posted by Shujin @ 4:19 PM

The long weekend a week after the previous long weekend

I've been feeling very lonely lately and I've been trying different tactics to overcome this stage in coping with my recent separation with my ex. So far all has turned out well and I believe that I'm on the road to moving on. I don't miss him quite as much as I did a week ago. I have to admit, though, that I'm still in love with him. Crap. This takes some getting used to, but I do understand that letting go of someone you've spent more than four years of your life and love with isn't easy. Some of my friends have advised me to start dating other people, but I don't think I'm ready for that yet... maybe in a few days time tee hee =P

***

Last Friday night's party was a blast. It was just uplifiting to be with so many friends who were full of pre-christmas cheer. Many a friendly hug and sincere words of appreciation later and my earlier, gloomy mood was replaced by a high that no narcotic can ever match. To top things off, I won a nice cellphone in the raffle draw =]

I say, with all honesty, that it was my first time to enjoy drinking alcoholic beverages at the party. It was quite a welcome experience to get drunk while happy and surrounded by friends. I wasn't planning on drinking too much and would have stopped after the obligatory beer or two, but it only took the mildest of proddings from friends and I was soon pals with the girl (in a bikini top) who served the Jagermeister shots (hic).

After the party, I tagged along with several friends to Greenbelt 2 for a late night meal. Among them was an old friend, Nick who I recently discovered was not straight too. We all had a great time together and I was pleased to see Nick's lighter side. We've known each other for the past 5 years or so, but more on the professional level and I never realized how warm and funny he could be. I also just noticed his strong frame and very dark eyes and thick eyebrows. Hmmm too bad he has a boyfriend =P

***

Worked on a Sunday. Acutally, I didn't do any real work. I just dropped by Mandaluyong to keep my co-worker and friend, Mel company. Watched "Christmas with the Kranks (or was it Krunks?)" with some friends over at Powerplant Mall, which I enjoyed even though I missed the frist 30 minutes of the film and this kid behind me kept laughing so loudly and talking noisily with his parents. After the movie, we hopped over to Greenbelt for a nightcap and a good amount of laughs with WR's director friend, JD. He was so funny that it made my tooth surgery hurt =P

***

In retrospect: My heartache has gone from miserably depressing to occasional bouts of loneliness. My tooth surgery from sore to annoying.

I'm gradually re-learning how to be alone and happy =] and that is good.

posted by Shujin @ 6:26 AM

Odontectomy (of the third molar)

Earlier today, I read in the paper that a certain filipino diplomat who was kidnapped in Afghanistan was released by his captors. Later, I watched the same person on the news, being presented by Afghan officials to the press, at the same time his family was shown being so happy that their loved one was released. His name is Angelito Nayan, and he and his family attribute his safe release to the power of prayer -- divine intervention.

Tuesday of last week, November 16, 2004 was the day my partner dumped me. He claims that he needs space and that he's losing his personal identity while in our relationship. It is just so ironic that he dumped me for those reasons when only minutes before the break up, I was offering to give him more space. I have been praying since the night of our break up for the Almighty to help me. Help me get him back? Help me move on and perhaps find another person to share my love with? I really don't know. All I know is I need a divine intervention of my own and seeing how the power of prayer has worked for Mr. Nayan has somewhat strengthened my faith.

Be thankful for the little things, I must always remember..

I had my wisdom tooth extracted earlier today and the surgery went surprisingly well. It only took a fraction of the one hour estimate my dentist told me the procedure would take. Hours later and I'm doing quite well. I'm not in pain and the swelling is at a minimum. Right after I got home, I was experiencing some discomfort and pain, even after popping a pain killer. I texted my friend and editor that I was hurting, but I really didn't mean it since the ponstan I took was already in effect. She told me that she'd pray for me and that she believes in the power of prayer. I'm convinced that her actions have helped since it's been ten hours since I popped the pain killer and my surgical wound still doesn't hurt.

My heart, on the other hand, still hurts. I miss him so much and I don't know what to do. It's sad how I only remember and appreciate God when I'm in great suffering. Sigh....

posted by Shujin @ 1:27 AM